Great, now if they could just pass a “no farting” bill I’d finally feel completely safe. Don’t fill your cab with the smell of your gross body rotting from the inside out and then ask me a question, NY cab driver! I’m not going to answer. I will die before I open my mouth in your fart car. Jesus. I thought I was going…

“This is the theme to Garry’s show, the closing theme to Garry’s show...”

RRS is better than your asses?

But if dark matter isn’t real, then please explain to me how an 8 oz. candy bar can make me gain 2 pounds.

“I can’t come in to work today, I’m getting fucked by Elizabeth.”

Yeah, but. I mean. I aspire to.

The only thing I love more than my Hitachi is the amazing man who bought it for me.

The only thing I love more than my Hitachi is the amazing man who bought it for me.