Great, now if they could just pass a “no farting” bill I’d finally feel completely safe. Don’t fill your cab with the smell of your gross body rotting from the inside out and then ask me a question, NY cab driver! I’m not going to answer. I will die before I open my mouth in your fart car. Jesus. I thought I was going…

“This is the theme to Garry’s show, the closing theme to Garry’s show...”

“I can’t come in to work today, I’m getting fucked by Elizabeth.”

Yeah, but. I mean. I aspire to.

The only thing I love more than my Hitachi is the amazing man who bought it for me.

The only thing I love more than my Hitachi is the amazing man who bought it for me.