“They gained all of 56 yards in the second half and refused to run the goddamn ball.”
Then the Bears hired the architect of said second half for their head coaching spot!  

I’ve made a few (ok, many) bad purchases in my life but I can safely say I’ve never made any that bad.  

“Truth: Newark, late 80's my band opened for GooGoo Dolls. 9 people were there. Their bass player played in sweatpants. I could see his dick.” 

Ah the Lions...the team Bears fans like me point to and say “hey, we got it bad...but not that bad!”

He can handle things. He’s smart. Not like everybody says, like dumb. He’s smart and he wants respect!

No more ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER though.  May his memory be eternal.

Taco McKinley is a Hall Of Fame name.

I feel good about the future of this country if other 15-year-olds are as cool as Elias.  

“I clearly remember two very hot female friends... offering to join me in the bedroom at some point during the fourth quarter. I really have no idea what they were thinking, considering I was wearing my lucky black Flacco jersey.”

Yeah I’m calling bullshit here.

They are more anonymous than people in Guy Fawkes masks.  

The giveaway is “I closed out my tab to go home and cower under my afghan in private RAGE.”  No way a piece of human garbage like he claims to be uses the word “afghan.”

Is there any real consequence to umpires screwing up?  Feels like we’ve been complaining about the same bad umps making the same bad calls year after year with no repercussions.

“ They’re still gonna look at strikes and get called out, so who’re they gonna bitch at and blame?”

If they look at a strike that’s called a strike and get called out that’s on them. If they look at a ball that’s called a strike that’s not on them.   

I read it as “she left him and got a separation/divorce.”  Maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part.  

Waiting for all the people who want NFL players protesting during the anthem to “Stick to sports!” to say the same thing to the Braves here.  Feel like I’ll be waiting for a long time.

Great combo of username and comment.  Also, say what you will about Cutler but he’s at least won a playoff game.

“I think you could argue that Andy Dalton is the worst franchise quarterback in NFL history.”

The more I read these entries the more I realize that the NFL blows.  And yet I’ll watch every Sunday because I am a Goddamned idiot.  

Two in one day?!  I feel blessed.

“10% of Chicago is nice, the rest of it is a steaming pile garbage, full of angry people, deteriorating infrastructure, and corruption.”
10% is being generous.  This place is a hellhole on the best of days.