I heard a rumour the title was Guano Island, but that’s probably just a huge pile of crap.

As a foreigner, my understanding is that Thanksgiving is the one special day a year when Americans eat lots of unhealthy food and have angry political arguments with each other. So, enjoy!

Sir, please collect your action figures and leave the garden centre. Security has been called.

BREAKING: Christopher Tolkien hits back at accusation by revealing unpublished archive of his father’s ‘locked bottom-drawer’ material, not to be published until 50 years after his death. Titles include The Getting-Laid of Lúthien, Durin Does Dol Guldur, and, most unfortunately, Concerning Hobbits’ Bums.

His record label have announced that they, uh, do eventually plan to have Jeff Goldblum, on their...on their Jeff Goldblum 20-city jazz concert tour.

>_<

Here are the facts:

Sure, Bill. Sure.

Watchmen should be taught in a masterclass alongside Baz Luhrmann’s Great Gatsby as case studies of directors being lavishly faithful to the surface-level text while giving the impression they’ve never even heard of subtext.

“...and from the hat collection of Johnny Depp”.

Cruise ‘too small’ for more Reacher rounds.

Looks like it’s time to burn my old Heat T-shirt in a Twitter video, then compose a whiny 10,000-word blogpost about how my childhood has been ruined.

Not since Bambi’s mother got shot has Disney produced a darker scene than Ralph innocently Googling “wreck it ralph rule 34". Haunting stuff.

If they’re reviving the 1929 categories of “Outstanding Picture” and “Best Unique and Artistic Picture”, I’m going to have to insist that all references to both are done in a rushed, nasal 1920s newsreel voice.

Harsh words for Tarantino from a man he’s described as his favourite composer. I bet Morricone hasn’t made anyone cry this hard since Cinema Paradiso.

He actually put his life on the line to protect the liberties that allow you people to act like brats in a website comments section.

We discovered two things today:

And here I thought Republicans loved guys who mocked veterans and people with disabilities while sporting ridiculous dye jobs and being publicly snubbed by their former romantic partners.

Marvel Studios certainly deserve an industry achievement award for finding a way to make people sit through the credits. It could be presented by some tearful, underappreciated Best Boys and Dialogue Coaches.

As someone who checked out some time around season three, I’m very excited for the continuing mythology of that iconic modern-day hero, That Guy Who Sometimes Wears A Hat And Shouts ‘CORAL’ A Lot And Hey, Did He Grow A Beard At Some Point.