Oct 31

If they wanted to deliberately tank the Star Wars deal in favour of Netflix, here’s how that pitch meeting probably went. Read more

Sep 29

If SNL are this bad at background checks, I predict a career renaissance for that exciting, fresh-faced new talent Michael Richards.

Sep 9

It’s somehow comforting to know that Hollywood is still capable of producing glossy, empty-headed Oscarbait like this even after the fall of Harvey Weinstein. Keep on trucking, you crazy old dream factory!

Aug 2

And we now go live to the Sun Wukong Research Institute, where a spokesman is assuring the press that they are still years away from any practical applications of the technology:

Aug 2

I know an excellent reason why they do this...but to hear it, you’ll have to come back here at midnight a week from now. In the meantime, feel free to speculate wildly and stare at this countdown clock! Read more

Jul 31

“You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? No, for real though - you’ve got those dead plastic eyes and your mouth is flapping around slightly out of sync with your dialogue...I genuinely can’t tell if you’re talkin’ to me.”

Jul 30

If Blumhouse just want to remake a bunch of ‘90s Jean Claude Van Damme action movies with Betty Gilpin in the lead role, I think I’d be down with that.

Jul 30

I’ll watch this, but only because it makes it incrementally more likely that AMC will pick up my TWD/Muppet Babies animated spinoff, The Toddling Dead.

Jul 30

This time, in a concession to 21st-century tastes, Maverick will woo his love interest in the bar with 50 Cent’s ‘Candy Shop’.

Jul 30

It looks like this is drawing some inspiration from the famous Eilean Mor lighthouse mystery of 1900. If so, it’s actually the second movie this year to do so, making creepy late-Victorian lighthouse stories officially the Mission to Mars/Red Planet, Armageddon/Deep Impact, Antz/A Bug’s Life studio phenomenon of 2019. Read more

Jul 29

Yes, Johnson has promised that Britain will leave the EU on 31 October. But he’s also fathered at least one love child during an affair, and a rumoured second. You obviously can’t trust him when he says he’ll pull out on time.

Jul 18

I predict that when a tearful Liv Tyler appears on a space video link, muscle memory will kick in and entire cinemas will burst into the chorus of ‘I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing’.

Jul 10

BREAKING: Dwayne Johnson to star in new Werner Herzog production Grizzly Man 2: Man Bites Back. Herzog hypes the collaboration: “In all the faces of all the bears that Johnson ever filmed, I discover no kinship, no understanding, no mercy. I see only candy-ass fear.”