If this series is going to keep visiting the most unpopular and/or pointless wars (First! Cold!) to have Diana roll her eyes at the testosterone-crazed dopes running the show, I’ll be fascinated to see where they go after the 1980s. Drugs? Terror? Christmas?

“I think I heard ‘Sand Snakes’...”

For real leak-proofing they should do away with scripts altogether and try improv, with suggestions shouted by the cast and crew.

At this point, I think we can officially say that satire and subject have reached their looking-from-pig-to-man-and-finding-it-impossible-to-say-which-is-which stage.

Careful, Alex. Drawing attention to someone’s smoky eye makeup is considered a hate crime in some quarters these days.

So you’re saying the villain turns out to be those clowns in Congress?

- The President is Pissing: A VHS Board Game Adventure.

I vote for John Travolta reprising his Primary Colors Clinton impersonation.

- Texas Boob Depository: Boob Assassin Origins

And now, an exclusive extract:

Call that a feud? The Hatfields and McCoys each dropped at least three diss tracks and had a scuffle outside a Miami nightclub before burying their beef.

No puppet! You’re the puppet!

Yeah. If I’m going to shit my pants, it will be at home in the living room, like a civilised person.

Even if nobody can hear you blubbing and yelping with fear in space, there’s no way I’ll ever play Alien: Isolation. By all accounts it’s a great game with terrific design capturing the look of the movies - but I feel like I’d have to keep switching over to the blind prancing xenomorphs of Colonial Marines just to…

Brantum Leap.

“It’s a fine barn. I shall call it...Winterfell.”

That Resistance-as-Reformation theory would explain these leaked photos of the new First Order uniform:

Jedi wear loose-fitting robes to make it easier for midichlorians to fly up their butts. This is CANON.

Fun Fact: Carrie’s voiceover habit of saying ‘And then I realised something...’ was based on Bushnell’s own recurring catchphrase, ‘And then it hit me like a fucking ton of bricks, like BLAMMO, like ohhh shit, man’.

“Stop misrepresenting me! Actually, this is about ethics in Star Wars journalism.”