I’m torn. On the one hand, this is stupid: why didn’t they just cast an older actor as Capone? On the other hand, the dementia plot will give Hardy free rein to go even stranger than usual with his range of American accents.

I like this news so much I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

“You’re all clear, kid! Now let’s blow this thing and...well, let’s blow this thing.”

I thought the ending of Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down was a bit more ambiguous than is suggested here. After the mandated happy reunion, there’s more than a hint of unease at the prospect of whether there can really be a happy-ever-after with this creep. You guys even wrote about this a few years back.

Fun fact: The movie is adapted from Sgt Stubby’s own classic anti-war novel, Memoirs of a Fox-Hunting Hound, written when he was an embittered cripple in the 1920s.

Damian Lewis might play him initially, but I bet Lucas will replace him with a CGI version in the remastered edition.

[Reports Cat Food Breath’s old scout leader to the relevant authorities.]

Close, but Pinker’s escapist fantasies are just in old-fashioned book form.

#terrorizeinternsnotairports

And here we all thought The Emoji Movie would be the bomb that ended his career.

Grouchy counterpoint:

from there on out it’s just 22 minutes of a dog sitting in front of a piano in black and white.

It truly was too filthy and potentially libellous for this world.

“Interesting pitch, Lars Von Trier, but Disney feel that we want to go in a...different direction...for the next standalone film.”

Jones will accept, then fail to show up, then explain that he ate some really hot chili and forgot all about it.

What about in dog years?

Misery, but with Jar Jar Binks as Kathy Bates.

- Curtis Mayfly.

I hate to be a stickler, but the first black superhero movie was clearly the 1972 film Super Fly, starring Ron O’Neal as a man with the proportionate strength and drug-dealing powers of a housefly.

It will of course be screened under its French title, Les Wookiees Dangereux.