I believe in the industry it’s known as a ‘Rodney Dangerfield’. 

“[They need] to step up because I think they would be welcome. And would it kill them to smile a bit more?”

GRRM has always drawn on real-world history for inspiration, but there’s no way he’d rip off World War One that directly.

[Agents of Security Commissar BRONN bundle him away for reeducation.]

The Hobbit already did it. If you read it again as an adult, it’s pretty clear that ‘weak spot’ on Smaug’s underbelly was a euphemism.

EXT. - THE RED KEEP - BATTLEMENTS

That classic tome which also inspired Michael Crichton in writing Jurassic Park.

I hope some day we see the Rey’s Parentage Fan Theory spreadsheet he was working with.

Sorry, but England already has a ‘postapocalyptic, furious, illegal night-time street race’, and it’s called the M25.

...Cruise had spent a year training for “the most impressive and unbelievable” stunt he’s ever done.

lol ffs jumanji 2017 is for filthy casuals i play 1995 rules hardcore sonnn

Meanwhile, the AV Club mourns its long-absent, much-loved gimmick account, The Taco Bell Bell. Bong on, brother.

Turns out that “dinosaur sensation” he used to sing about wasn’t what we imagined.

This seems highly irresponsible, what with Planned Parenthood under attack, and many states refusing to educate kids about the dangers of Sting-Shaggy listenership.

Oh man, I love that random fact about Battlestar Galactica. It sort of positions it even more as the cranky anti-Trek. Okay, what have we got?

The news of this pointless remake, I hate it so much, it - it - flames! Flames, on the side of my face...

a Westeros-style winter

Academy - I know it’s tough, what with the British accents and period trappings and speechifying and everything, but could you maybe not give the Best Actor Oscar to Gary Oldman? Brexit Britain really doesn’t need any more encouragement to spew out Britain-stands-alone Blitzploitation movies.

Mystery solved: it turns out Senor Spielbergo was filming a non-union Mexican remake, Encuentros en la Tercera Fase, over in the next valley.

Eagle-eyed fans will recognise him as Maximilian ‘Polemaster’ Polowski, a fan favourite first introduced in Inhumans #77 (September 1973), ‘Behold...My Pole!’.