Here’s my million-dollar pitch: Give us a scifi reimagining of Into Great Silence, following Obi Wan’s quiet daily routine on Tatooine. Moisture harvesting, patching the roof, squinting gnomically at the horizon - all done without a soundtrack, and four hours long.

As far as I can make out, a couple of no-good teens are having a donnybrook behind the soda fountain.

Hulu judged there was continued interest in the series after analysing the number of people who regularly tweet at Damon Lindelof to go fuck himself.

A can tied to a string which snakes out the toilet window, across the lawn, and into an office in the OEOB, where Mike Pence takes dictation.

+++ PRIORITY WESTERN UNION STOP FAO NEWSDESK WASHINGTON POST STOP PRESIDENT STILL A MORONIC MANCHILD THUG STOP BUT NOW WE CAN’T ESCAPE TO A TOILET CUBICLE TO PLAY CANDY CRUSH FOR HALF THE WORKDAY STOP MORALE PLUMMETING STOP MESSAGE ENDS +++

“Second, invest in some actual toilet paper for the staff.”

He shot for The Atlantic, and ended up in Boy’s Life magazine.

Trump prefers to get that organically, I hear.

She and the Twitter tech who deleted Trump’s account should team up and solve crimes around quirky small-town America.

Turns out this show really was a house built upon the sand, such as was told of in Matthew 7:24–27!

Republican Halloween Pro-Tip! With a little tinkering, your old John Kerry mask can be recycled to look just like Robert Mueller.

To be fair, J.R.R. Tolkien and the other Inklings were known for prank calling the Cambridge Reporter in the early 60s. The ‘big news’ may well have turned out to be ‘your mother’s posterior’, followed by gales of Oxonian laughter down the phone line.

Disney PR junior executive: Now this is hype generation! Yippee!

That soft, fleshy sound in the distance is glasses being pushed decisively up the bridges of thousands of noses as their owners formulate a caustic reply.

The Spaceship That Couldn’t Slow Down: A Star Wars Story.

It’s worth noting that Tom Barrack is also a longtime friend and supporter of Donald Trump. Or is he just waiting for Trump to implode too, so he can swoop in and buy out the lucrative Trump Steak brand?

Meanwhile, Joe the Plumber maintains his tantalising silence on the issue.

True Blood. One minute thirty seconds of perfect Southern Gothic mood, imagery, and music, usually followed by an hour of what felt like watching a burning dumpster full of Anne Rice novels.

This pairing sounds like what happens when you wish on a magical monkey paw to have a biopic made about yourself.

I like the fact that “ability to take a punch” is apparently one of the Mouseketeer requirements. Do they also get sent up into the mountains to kill a wolf when they hit puberty?