Can't lose that valuable 'hate-filled neo-Nazi' demographic, man. The lucrative weapons and Rogaine advertisers might jump ship.

they find themselves under fire from extremists on both sides

If this does happen, I'd like to offer the title Hannibal: Reflux.

I Hate Valentine's Day. It's Coarse and Rough and Irritating and It Gets Everywhere.

Due to copyright issues, the Chewbacca Mom will be reimagined in this show as Generic Werewolf Mom.

Well, she's not quite a Smurf, and she's not quite a MILF, but man, heh… So, to answer your question, I don't know.

"Dear Sir/Madam, Donnie is very sorry that, on his visit last weekend, he broke the norms of a decent, humane society. He has agreed to save up his pocket money to pay for a replacement."

I saw a screenshot of the front page where another headline referred to the attack as 'the crashocaust'. Turning it into a glib fucking internet joke. Can't you just smell the desperate, grim young maleness wafting from the holes that kind of phrase crawled out of?

Hey, we got a word for Nazis back in Brooklyn, pal.

[Sloop John B. hands it a beer, commiserates that it's all politics, dude.]

If you have a comedic bone, I keep getting spam emails that claim they can help with that.

The 1999 Kirsten Dunst comedy Dick predicted all of this, I tell you.

[Screen splits in four to show the Black Pearl, Milano, Titanic, and Millennium Falcon sitting nervously in the audience.]

I believe they just use it as background noise for their sexting, and video gaming, and sex-gaming, and social media whatnot.

Just for some historical context on the Civil War thing, in the 1861 Teen Choice Awards the Choice Villain was Simon Legree from Uncle Tom's Cabin, and the Hottest Kiss was Pip and Estella in Great Expectations. #teampip

WHERE'S ALL THE GOOD ART?

Coincidentally, the top four (Johnny Joe John Jack) also combine to form my folk music stage name.

Finally!

Bold move, entering the song name bracket that already includes both 'Sweet Caroline' and 'Caroline Says'. Meanwhile, the Mildreds of the world go unwooed.

He leaped for the other building, but just couldn't Jack Reacher 2: Never Go Back.