Can it be a coincidence that 'get her phone number' was step one in learning how to date Natalie Dormer?

Blessed are the meek, for they shall provide suitably placid hosts for gaining possession of the earth.

This has been Inside the A.V. Club Commenter's Studio. The Uvular Suspects - thank you.

With a special cameo by Arnold Schwarzenegger as the eminent brain surgeon who informs our hero that IT'S NAHD A TOOMAH.

At last, we get to hear her single that was rejected from the Benjamin Button soundtrack.

I'm pretty sure many fiscal conservatives actually have bootstrap fetishes.

I'll admit, I may have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality. Just now, I thought I saw a sentient testicle in a leather jacket as the header image for this story.

Turns out their Make-A-Wish kid was already dead, and those 'suggestions' were just gas escaping.

Some day some kid's gonna make you want to turn around and say goodbye…

They don't like improv. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets in the way of quality scripted dialogue.

[Alan Moore and the ghost of Jack Kirby slap the kid on the back and hand him a hip flask.]

[DC immediately invites a dozen Make-A-Wish kids to visit Justice League editing suite.]

And we only hear about the time that bluff actually worked. I hear out behind his palace there were dumpsters just full of baby halves.

If these are meant to be Marvel Studio's versions of the X-Men, at least they've got half of the "hated and feared" part down.

Les Fleurs du malodorous.

I think today, we're all farting through the tears.

…VOTE TRUMP/BANNON 2020.

And oh! the grandiose memos they would circulate then, daubed on stripped bark with their own blood and feces.

Man, Google really runs everything these days.

Appeal to their self-interest and the half-digested rationalisations they pass off as 'logic', while backing slowly towards the door.