I was about to make a snarky comment along the lines of "Just make a Metro 2033 adaptation already", and then some quick Googling informed me that somebody is already doing just that. Thanks for coming on this learning adventure with me!

But the powerful sword lobby of barbarians, Victorian cavalry officers, and 17th-century rakes keeps blocking progress.

the “emergence of the luxury Trump-era universe, the downtown social and literary scene and the ball culture world.”

Whining about how unfair everything is never got anybody anywhere. Except this one guy, who it got to the White House.

Alternate headline:

"If John has three apples, and Dagny has two apples, how many apples must parasitic Big Government take from them before they RISE UP against the tyranny of mediocrity?"

They listened to criticism and found a compromise solution.

Relevant.

Those pre-schoolers will just have to flip over to Fox News, where Sean Hannity will be hosting the new Ayn Rand Storytime Fun Hour.

Lampooning the physical appearance of your political opponents has been part of satire and protest for centuries, because it's an effective, vivid, colourful way of summing up some of the gross moral characteristics you want to ascribe to them. People aren't mocking Trump's hands because they really think they're tiny…

Hey everybody, get a load of the guy with the tiny hands!

"Over 99 Billion (And One President) Served."

The British stole our potatoes, and some grifting American kids stole our Lucky Charms. The post-Celtic Tiger years have been rough.

Email servers?

Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary is a real pioneer in thinking up new ways of making air travel awful. He's said in the past that he'd charge for using the bathroom or offer super-cheap standing-room-only sections if the regulators allowed it.

If he's such a good dude, why isn't his shit getting me high?

[Stands outside shudder.com with a placard reading 'Down With This Sort of Thing'.]

You don't mean…disable AdBlock? Lord, let this cup pass from me!

I click on the video, and nothing happens - not even a notice that it isn't available in my country. I find the trailer embedded on some other site, click on it, and nothing happens. I go to the Starz website, click on it, and nothing happens.

That list of Scientology abuses sounds suspiciously familiar.