"If I had been on those planes on 9/11, AT&T is the network I woulda used to communicate with the cops on the ground while I was kickin the shit outta them queeah terrorists and savin the day."

The Force Needs Its Caffeine Fix Before It Ever Properly Awakens In The Morning, You Know What I Mean?

I find your lack of grey poupon disturbing.

A similar thing happened when George Lucas went for coffee one day in 1976 with his pal Garth Nader.

An album? So old-fashioned. Next he'll be going on the Ed Sullivan Show, or doing a matinee at the Empire Music Hall, or playing before the king perchance he might toss him a gaudy bauble to indicate his favour.

When Marvel stops secretly paying me to mock them, I promise I'll give DC a fair shot.

Unfortunately, it's in Zack Snyder's contract that he gets final approval on the colour saturation and amount of slow motion in all DC movies. Hope you like murky grey people taking way too long to punch each other.

The last thing Clinton would want is for people to be able to see the chafed-ness of his interns' knees.

Someone high up in the Nordstrom design team is obviously a secret knee fetishist, just trying to leave the world a better place than he found it by his own standards.

I'll see those and raise you a Gotham.

Look, I'll tell you this one more time: it's up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A.

Ah yes, this Golden Age of 'Content' that my whole socioeconomic demographic is so 7.8/10 about.

Meanwhile, Old Man Sheldon will be a brutal, pared-back conclusion to the Sheldon saga, in which the the grizzled veteran has to come out of retirement to save a young girl.

"That deodorant we're working on, though - I think 'Gross-Pitts' could work there."

Nicola Sturgeon should confiscate his beloved Scottish golf courses and turn them into refugee camps.

Trump surrogate and son Eric huffed that the whole thing is a “publicity stunt,” telling The Washington Post that the complainants are “people who have nothing better to do, so they harass and they harass and the [court] will throw it out…It’s ridiculous.”

The Last Temptation of Christ, if you read between the lines.

What could possibly have given him the idea that the climate now is more forgiving of Hitler sympathisers?

She could have banned citizens of several countries from travelling to the US on blatantly religious grounds.

It doubles as an old family recipe. Her grandmother was Baked Alaska Larson.