Why is Canada named Canada? Because there is none!

That poster looks like the cover of a book in a bargain-bin dystopian YA trilogy about a teenager learning to use her elemental powers. Coming in 2018 and 2019, Waterquake and Firenami.

How To Date The Guy Eating Jason Segal Photos.

For Your Consideration: The Guy Eating Jason Segal Photos Is The Greatest Outsider Artist Of The 21st Century.

I miss the days when creepy stalkers kept things between themselves, their celebrity targets, and the butchers who supplied them with blood.

It'll be great PR for them when it leaks out that this is where Melania is plotting her escape route.

The ELO score is primarily used to separate an Evil Woman from a Sweet Talkin' Woman.

Have they considered that this may reveal more about Twitter users than vapers? I'm pretty sure you could get similar results studying any trend via image-projecting, validation-seeking tweets.

Is this the same Brian Cullinan who was meant to be keeping an eye on things the night all the banks failed back in 2008?

Depressing and pointless. What we really need is an account which is just Calvin peeing on various things.

Supervillain fashion pro tip! When wearing rings made of matter and antimatter, be sure not bring them into contact while clapping, steepling your fingers, or rubbing your hands together in malevolent glee. We all remember Thanos the Mad Titan's fashion (and physics) disaster at the Venusian Emmys.

"It's very important to have a free press where people can vent their frustrations against you, so they don't go and do anything silly like actually trying you for war crimes."

…Vladimir?

I don't have the Photoshop skills, but has someone replaced that card with a 'Dewey Defeats Truman' newspaper? They almost certainly have? Well, okay then.

Hold down RT and X to tell Shagroth that you're just kind of over the TV show he's been gushing about for five minutes.

"If you liked the Nemesis System, you'll love our new Frenemy System, in which allies can make snippy comments to undermine your confidence, and you can pointedly 'forget' to invite them to social occasions."

Counterpoint: If I, an internet tastemaker, don't churn out at least four hot takes on this, how will anyone even know that I'm alive and that my life has value?

This 'fuck-up' was actually a false flag operation by failing, sad and overrated Hollywood Democrats to undermine the public trust in election results.

Spike Lee angrily tweets bestselling author James Patterson's obituary.

To be fair, that puppet is greeting visitors at the Uncanny Valley Log Flume.