But how will he provide Mary with an heir for the estate?

It's like a gaslighter, but all of their subtle psychological manipulation happens outside.

I'm aware that some people are saying he's playing the bank manager. What I was doing was simply offering alternative jokes.

First Brexit, now the revival of Dick Van Dyke's Cockney accent? Way to kick a nation when it's down.

"Where are my dragons?!"

Trump also declared that his critics should be vewy, vewy quiet.

State intervention in certain crucial Trump-related clothing industries is now Republican policy, but don't worry - they still believe the free market should decide on subsidiary issues like healthcare.

[Sean Spicer hastily changes his Twitter password.]

Shortly after, he fell into a hidden cave full of black polo necks.

I feel like Apple's innovations department is entirely staffed by those incompetent numbskulls from infomercials.

Boy, the years until the next Democratic primary are just going to fly by, aren't they?

Now that this one is off the table, can we start a rumour linking him to a Prince Charles biopic?

Hitman is not only a gorgeous game, but one that allowed me to assassinate an Italian aristocrat by clocking him in the head with a can of rancid pasta sauce. Definitely my favourite game of last year.

"He shut it down after people pointed out he'd copied someone else, in part verbatim, and failed to credit the original creator."

I don't know. An atmosphere of tension, fear and barely-restrained violence generated by an attention-seeking, camera-hungry star sounds like a pretty accurate artistic rendition of Trump's America. What do you want, a pickled shark?

Also starring: Helena Bonham Carter as Lydia.

Trilby! Bowler! Stetson! Beanie! Miscellaneous!

One of them is just quirky hat storage. Two more, regular hats. Then, somewhere to dump out, and one with a bed. They fill up surprisingly quickly.

For Your Consideration:

So you're saying he's…just following orders?