You can't tell what colour someone is when everybody is covered in blood. Unity!

From conscripting Twitter followers, it's surely just a slippery slope to conscripting soldiers for your new quagmire land war in Asia.

I hear he was busy commenting on a new Girls review when Uncle Ben got killed.

Makes sense, really. In retrospect, Green Lantern was the fucking Golden Age of DC movies.

Also like Dark Knight Rises, the Trump administration will be poorly-plotted, relentlessly grim, and end with a nuclear detonation.

Sorry, Mister McAvoy, sorry. In my defence, I'm part of the Worst Generation Ever, and don't know any better.

Will McAvoy, how would ACN have fearlessly and incisively reported on Trump, thereby stopping him in his tracks, maybe while some Coldplay played in the background?

The National Endowment for the Arts may be about to be redirected towards installing golden toilets in the White House, but at least we still have Shia. He will never go away.

Surely this will be the gaffe that proves Trump's idiocy to his followers and eventually leads to his downfall.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Hagrid's Pants.

Huh, Weather.com is unusually lyrical in their Washington evening forecast:

"Extendo ad nauseam!"

We Love California Republic Resistance Leader 'La Volpe', And You Will Too.

I feel that. Currently huddled behind a burned-out church while ACORN community organisers hunt me down to haul me back to their voter fraud pits.

BREAKING: Newswires to be replaced henceforth with a revived Tolerability Index. Everything will be intolerable.

What a long, strange eight years of sharia law, mandatory abortions and death panels it's been.

Wasn't there already a TV show about hunting predators in suburbia, starring Chris Hansen?

BREAKING: Trump takes credit for "saving Detroit and bringing back the jobs and the tremendous industry" in 10…9…8…7…

I keep hoping one of these films will get a porn parody just so it can be titled This Ain't xXx XXX.

Because I like Stewart, I'm just going to imagine that he's putting in an offer on Michael Caine's old Jaws: The Revenge house, and the place has only appreciated in value since 1987.