If slavery was okay by some 18th-century rich white tax-dodgers, who are we to argue?

Bad teeth to an Englishman?

Sure, but Lucky Strikes are toasted.

I haven't seen a voice cast this loaded with heavy-hitters since that other postmodern masterpiece, The Angry Birds Movie.

Look, if they don't like the dress code, they can always be enslaved elsewhere. It's a free slave market!

Yeah, it's like I was just saying to my actual friend in real life just now: bazinga.

Jabba runs his own business, creates employment, owns guns and takes his yacht out at the weekend. All in all, a stand-up guy, even if he can't actually stand up.

Ha! Jinx.

In retaliation, Assange has released a sample of Chuck Lorre's own internet search history:

Bono secretly sabotaged the whole thing. If any overrated arena rocker is going to get that sweet peace-in-the-Middle-East Nobel prize, it's going to be him.

Lowering Arizona

The Coens tried to pitch the show to TLC, but apparently they didn't want no Scruggs.

It's so dense, every gallery has so many exhibits in it.

"Baio! Put on this wig! You're Marilyn Monroe now."

TW: Old-school Catholic martyrdom. The kind where they come back to life just so they can be killed in an even more bloodthirsty way, because the Romans were nothing if not persistent.

Ingrid will understand. It's been a crazy, anxious and unsettled time, what with preparations for the Feast of St Agnes and everything.

Judging by the header pic, I'm going to guess that American Crime is about an elite detective squad tasked with figuring out why so many people would waste a perfectly good pair of shoes like that.

ALTERNATE HEADLINES FOR PEOPLE WHO WOULD RATHER AVOID THE THOUGHT OF PRESIDENT TRUMP RIGHT NOW:

Are you sure you weren't watching an elaborate promo for Hulu's new adaptation of The Handmaid's Tale?

"I don't care for Tiffany."