We all know the only reason to buy DVDs at the time was to impress visitors of the opposite sex with your sophistication and maturity. When girls saw my casually-displayed Titanic, they knew I was all sensitive and shit.

That tired, jaded, meta approach to jokes… It's a Simpsons writer, everybody!

[Kanye West looks up from spreadsheet of profits from his $120 plain white T-shirt, mutters "Amateurs".]

That last picture is just ridiculous. Based on mouth shape and general loathsomeness, Trump is clearly a Raticate.

Ah come on, at least try to do a decent segue.

Well, I'm not impressed. Forrest MacNeil took two arrows to the shoulder and still managed to review the experience.

So you're saying he's just…Posehn as a metalhead?

My puny human eyes couldn't even get to the end of that sentence!

Coming October 2017:

NBC Announces Comedy Strategy: 'Make It 2006 Again Through Science Or Magic'.

Because nothing says 'free-form spontaneous fun' like a big awa-

SicariDos.

Well, it worked in Terminator 2. I predict Benicio will be teamed up with a bratty kid and learn to laugh again.

I can't imagine where the studio got the idea that there's a market for violent, heavily-armed fantasies about Mexico.

Oh, we're having black pudding for dinner?

Following the downward trajectory of Blood Feast and then Blood Diner, I'd like to propose a trilogy-capper titled Blood Microwave Meal For One.

O’Mara voices Batman in the DC Animated films Justice League: Throne Of Atlantis, Batman Vs. Robin, Batman: Bad Blood, Justice League Vs. Teen Titans and the upcoming movie Justice League Dark. He also appeared on The Good Wife.

Kate Beaton did alright.

This could be a problem for my epic family drama about an entrepreneur who makes foot models for the shoe industry, The Last Tycoon.

True enough, but like a lot of these choice-based games the changes it actually allows you to make to the narrative are fairly cosmetic. It's the stressful moment of decision that makes games like this work, not necessarily the follow-through, which will tend to shunt you back on to the rails of the main story. I…