Star Begins.

Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson in A Star is Brawn.

Oh, don't be too down on him.

In other 1930s remake news, producers have a hunch that America might be ready for a new version of Triumph of the Will.

Last time, on The Sexodus: Smoses and the Sisraelites have been cornered at the Sred Sea by Spharaoh and his forces. Will Sgod save them?

Well, it works at my local PTA.

That's some world-class 'negging' alright. The interviewer is definitely just moments away from swooning.

Marvel is just giving a movie to every C-lister these days, aren't they? I've never even heard of Captain Caution MGTOW.

[High-fives Jean Grey's Anatomy]

Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of Doritos!

HACK THE PLANET!

#LiterallyNoKensBecauseHeDoesntHaveGenitals

GamerGate Ken sold separately. So separately that he's never even talked to a real woman.

Oh God, his friend just passed me a note from him:

And coming 2018, Narco Babies. Every week, Lil Pablo learns some important lessons about sharing, and how it can be monetised.

Sure, it sounds exciting, but you just know they'll go for a PG-13 rating and end up The Slightly Scuffed Dozen.

One long, last Hot Take. It's what Gawker would have wanted.

Not like John Boyega. His skin is soft and smooth…

Wizards also don't believe in blood transfusions or birthdays.

Not to mention the time a bald eagle desperately tried to prevent the rise of Trump. All that scene was missing was a weeping Statue of Liberty in the background.