Limos are for bachelorette parties in Vegas and taking pimply kids in rented tuxedoes to prom.

A lot of people just think all muscle cars are lame. Boring old Boomer mobiles, the four-wheeled equivalent of an Eric Clapton record. 

This is an excellent choice. Have a star.

Ugh, I hate that car with every fiber of my being. 

Nope. It’s too big, can’t turn a corner, and it’s a Ford.

They all seem superfluous at best, useless at worst, but I guess this is the dystopian world of cars now. At least they’re integrated well into the interior, and don’t seem to have a bright blinding UI like the Tesla debacle.

Exciting! Please report. I’ve been thinking about one myself.

Nothing, people who drive Ford Escapes in the suburbs just get defensive real easily

Take a joke, hipster

PORTLAND

If you live in Portland, you need practical, strong, and quirky. A little Soviet heritage doesn’t hurt, either.

I’m in love with the proximity key on my Alfa Romeo, because it doesn’t unlock automatically when you walk up to it—it waits for you to put your hand into the door handle. That way the car’s not unlocking when I don’t want it to, but it’s also a zero-step process.

“Ran when parked”

I have an abiding love for all little MPVs, and this is adorable. 

Grampa? Please come home, your family’s worried about you.

Tesla, for trying to replace the driving experience with Screen Time All The Time™

I guess Tom Araya has to update his meme about conservatives being the good guys who never get offended and ban anything huh

I shudder to think of the lumps of car that you would consider attractive. I’m sure I’ll regret asking, but what’s a good-looking car in your eyes?

RIP? Sears Point is still here, it’s just called Sonoma Raceway now—but plenty of people (myself included) still say Sears Point, and everyone knows what you’re talking about. I live just a few miles away, it’s got tons of races going on all the time. NASCAR still races there, too.