Selecting white men is always about merit. Selecting anyone other than a white man is always affirmative action. Sort of like how people who aren’t white men caring about political issues that affect them personally is identity politics, but white men caring about political issues that affect them personally has…

Shut up Natalie Portman. I quit drinking, turned 30, and then suddenly hormonal acne like WOAH!!! One week before each period, NECK ZITS!!!! And then they linger and heal for several weeks, and then, AGAIN WITH THE NECK ZITS! I’m furious.

Right? His followers are so invested in the macho man figure they think he cuts, but he’s just a sniveling little turd.

Who among us hasn’t met with a Russian lobbyist offering dirt on our father’s political opponent as a pretext to talk about sanctions, forgotten to talk about the dirt, and then lied about it for months?

There seems to be one troll who is both stupid and uninteresting. Sad!

I’m fairly certain he dumbassed his way into it. Here he is looking “excited” to have won the presidency:

Just as not all Americans voted for the Herpes Blister in Chief, not all non-Americans see you as a monolithic state. Yes a lot of your country men and women sold ye down the river for the chance to make some of them blacks and faggots scared. But that is a reflection on them, not you all.

Also I don’t think many…

I can see it now, Merkel will go up to Trump and extend her hand to grab him by the balls, ‘cause when you are famous, you can do that’

“I don’t want to pay for baby killers. I won’t get the cancer because Jesus will love me for defendin’ them babies” *takes drag off cigarette*

I’ll never forget the woman I met who snottily informed me “democrats don’t have any idea why they’re democrats - they’re just joiners! They just join the party bc they don’t think for themselves!” And literally, no exaggeration, one sentence later answered my question of “ok, so why are you a republican?” with an…

Can we mock him for stealing the late Stephen Jay Gould’s moustache? And for the moustache having more scientific knowledge than the rest of him?

Too much fondant.

the ocean is fucked up

I hate him. I hate him so much.

‘Them national monuments are taking our Jerbs’

Looks like someone in Des Moines is about have the most dramatic rose ceremony ever.

That isn’t nearly as bad as his son in law being appointed to be in charge of basically everything trump wants done with no experience in any of it. It’s like watching a political parody show where the writers would have been fired for making the plot too ridiculous.

I’m not the first to put this theory forwad, but my Aussie friend told me the consensus in Australia is that Trump wasn’t paying attention for the briefing prior to his call with Turnbull, so when an aide handed him the phone and said, “here’s PM Turnbull of the Australian Liberal Party” Trump just assumed Turnbull…

Is there literally any more egregious example of “waving the bloody shirt” than claiming your opponent literally supports murdering healthy babies?