The woman trying brisket for the first time at 9:25 is priceless.

It wasn’t my car, but I got a rental car once that someone had spilled some kind of very sweet novelty flavored latte in. It was winter, so when I got in the car I could smell the sweetness. Then, after driving a bit with the heater on, I got strong notes of milk that had gone bad long long ago. It was unbearable, so…

There was a Kia dealership in the DFW area whose ads had an announcer that ran words together. They were advertising a Kia Sephia for under 10K. Unfortunately the guy said “You can get akiasephia (uh-key-uh-SEF-ee-uh) for ninety nine ninety nine” and the way he said it sounded like they were offering you the…

Now we know who’s buying the 55 gallon barrel of lube from Amazon.

The Senate exists so that the less populous states have a voice. A better solution would be to increase and apportion the number of reps in the house in such a way that the resulting Electoral College votes are of uniform weight.

Starion!

While the people of Zimbabwe are working on getting rid of Mugabe, can they send Comic Sans with him?

He’s trying to get the all important Russ Hanneman endorsement.

I’ll second the unemployment thing. Do NOT let pride fuck with your mind.

The police. You report him to the police.

Mrs. Shoe Pilot’s 2012 Volt has about 70K miles on it and it’s still reporting mid-30s for fully charged range. The rest of the car is still in AMAZING condition. It hasn’t developed any weird squeaks or rattles and all of the plastic still looks and feels good. If we could get a brand new battery installed at 100K I…

My 2017 Miata RF seems to have an AI controlling the door locks that I can’t figure out. Press once to unlock driver’s side, twice to unlock both sides. But, not always. I end up unlocking the passenger side from the inside about 30% of the time.

Scientology v. Trump mutually assured destruction has been my dream for a year or so now. I have no love for either of them and would delight in seeing them both use their endless supply of spite to destroy the other.

My first LeMons car was a 1986 S12 that I bought for $500. The only thing it needed to be road usable again was a brake master cylinder. It had louvers too! For its first race it still had valid plates/registration, insurance, and working air conditioning. It even still had the voice box in it that told us the door…

He doesn’t know the past tense of “repay” either.

I have met ONE person named Cletus in my entire life, and he was a professor & dept. head at Carnegie Mellon.

I guess you either get to stand OR have your phone out but not both. When Bill Clinton was at my office a couple weeks ago I was standing, but the security detail strongly admonished me to put my phone away.

Why does Fox News need a national security strategy? Are they going to secede and become their own country? If so, can we bomb them?

I pulled a similar move in a car and just about shit myself in terror as I saw the error of my ways looming large in the rearview mirror. I can’t IMAGINE the feeling on a bike. Holy Shit.