Sorry for pissing in your cheerios this morning.

War deaths, the debt and spending are back en vogue for complaints again. Funny that.

Some perspective on how historic this is:

it’s just a picture of legs that cuts to an image of a man standing in a burning house and he has a goat head and his eyes are the black of the void and then it cuts back to an image of legs with paint on them and then it’s the goat headed man and he’s closer to the foreground and I can smell sulfur and then it cuts…

see this is why i was brilliant for majoring in history. there’s ALWAYS gonna be history being made out there.

The “filed to” is the best use of that meme I’ve seen in ages.

If oil prices start climbing up, all those unemployed workers in North Dakota and Texas will be back at work at the shale wells, and prices will tumble down again soon enough.

If you’re planning to sell yourself short, sure. Not washing your hair for months and throwing a pie at a disgraced politician, who in turn beats the ever living fuck out of you, is a pretty attainable life goal.

Gawker Media the place where the left can do no wrong, the right is always the enemy, and there’s no such thing as a moderate. It would be nice to come to a website about cars and not have a political spin on every third article.

We need more partisan political Gawker influence in Jalopnik. There hasn’t been enough since they were justifiably bankrupted.

I am gonna expose myself to the ridicule and scorn of the Internet on this one, but come the fuck on, Dad. Your kid jumped onto the field at a professional sporting event, subjecting himself to injury, arrest, or worse. I know you want to be his friend, but you aren’t. You are his dad. He wrote his phone number on his…

First of all, I’m an atheist that was raised in a Mormon household. With that out of the way: If a team wants to have a team prayer (just like my family does), go right ahead. A prayer in and of itself should not be a problem. If a player doesn’t want to participate, do what I do: sit there and wait a while. A prayer…

I feel bad that OBJ was dragged into all of Lena Dunham’s unnecessary drama. He really seems like a sweet dude who just wants to live his life and enjoy his Instagram.

That is more spirals than their fans will see all season.

All the cursing just makes you sound ignorant. Or was that the point?

Oh lovely. It’s being used as a limo.

“yeah, get hooked on prescription meds like the rest of america.” - Signed The DEA

For those without a lobotomy, the Huyndai Ioniq will soon be available

Process Server: Mr Manziel? You’ve just been served.