OH GOD. I haven’t even finished reading but that Funky Town story has brought actual tears to my eyes.

Bobby,

Meanwhile, there some idiot out there starting a viral campaign against Starbucks to “defend Christianity” From the horror of having to drink a mocha in a plain red cup. Wouldn’t it be nice if more people spent their energy helping out their fellow man? Guess that's a pipe dream.

For fucking real. That fucking pizza place in Indiana raised how much?

And much respect to Deadspin for not letting this one go and publishing what they have.

This is beyond horrifying.

Go outside, be in nature, bring a friend along for the trip.

Don’t eat 60 grams.

He’s a recovering addict who lives in a rehab center. Navigating the world is pretty hard in those circumstances even when you speak the language.

The moral of the story is, don’t run a marathon.

would like to “eliminate the magnets that attract illegal immigrants,” whatever that means

I did not wake up this morning thinking I would like Ariana Grande, yet here we are.

This!

personally i think those engagement pics are tedious, adding the dog makes it fun

I’m not exactly sure why we’re even still talking about this. I don’t care if you want your dog in your engagement photo shoot or not. Personally, there’s only so many “Cute couple wearing matching sweaters pose in a pile of leaves” pics I can see, so I think a dog spices things up

Weddings are about two families coming together. For many (dare I say most) people, pets are a part of the family. And kids??? Come on now.

Apparently some people find joy and happiness distasteful

BECAUSE DOGS MAKE EVERYTHING CUTER

But, aren’t you “marrying the whole family.” If you’re marrying someone with a dog, or a kid, you’re not only committing to that person but you’re also committing to the whole kit and caboodle