People wonder how we end up with guys like Donald Trump. This is how.

I feel the same way about them and I don’t know what it is. They annoy the crap out of me and I am tired of the husband especially.

We had a talking parrot when I was a kid and they are so incredibly smart. He would yell “shut the door” whenever anyone left the house and learned to count in English and Spanish from watching Sesame Street with me. His language skills were incredible and he actually adapted and learned. My mom hated him and always…

I showed this story to my wife.

I had to read that headline multiple times to comprehend it. I don’t even want to say where my mind was heading.

While this is awesome, I don’t want anyone to forget that Hogan is trash.

When you realize Omarosa found someone who is OK with being married to her, but you haven’t made it past a first date in almost 3 years.

You can’t unplug my ventilator I never bought an iPhone!

rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love and they want to go spend hundreds of dollars on, maybe they should invest it in their own healthcare.

As part of my birthday gift a couple years ago, Mr. Nom gave me carte blanche to get wasted and hide in the guest room the following day while he lied to our child and said I was out running errands. I didn’t emerge until about 4:00 PM and, honestly, I probably should have stayed in a couple more hours but I felt bad…

John Mellencamp sounds exactly like every person I’ve ever dated. And also like my dad. 🤔

Viola Davis is a fucking national treasure.

I had a friend who called to speak with the sales manager Al when she was buying a car. There were two Als and when they asked for a last name she said the first thing that came to mind which was “Al Sharpton” it’s been like 5 years and we still give her a hard time about it.

Gaga should do a “Telephone” performance with Beyoncé Skyping in from some insanely elaborate master bed setup.

I don’t know, unless you’re a masochist or a decent person, I don’t see why someone would just watch themselves be abused for ‘jokes’. But yeah, after 400 years, I guess black people are still sensitive, according to people like you.

“Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.”—Roger Ebert

no

Busy Phillips is lucky. My eyebrows did NOT grow back. Thanks, 90s!