plus pizza, casual bar make outs all over town AND MORE PIZZA.

Hope they quit the US when Hillary wins.

Even though I’m on the east coast and more than awake, I had to read her bib like 5 times before I realized it didn’t say BIOTCH.

Because people suck. Dogs rule!!

For fucks sake. When I was young, even if I didn’t want to go to a classmates party, my parents dragged me there anyways. Some days aren’t about you. Plus, you get cake. Go to the party!

Why would you let your child be this cruel and turn down this poor child’s party? WHY ARE PEOPLE BAGS OF DICKS!?

This is my reaction. We’re not talking about, like, reselling nukes illegally to Russia; some perspective on this matter would be wonderful.

genuinely confused what sequence of events transpired for Hollywood to decide “AMERICA NEEDS ANOTHER PAUL BLART MOVIE”

“Clothing with names is the #1 thing that leads to kidnapping”

I need Katherine Schwarzenegger’s comment to be reviewed in Shade Court because I thiiiink that’s shade but I’m not sure. But I’m pretty sure it is.

Oh my God, giving Fred Durst a hand job sounds like half of a “Would you rather?” question. Like, “Would you rather vote Republican or give a hand job to Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst?” (And then somehow, inexplicably, not amputate your hand afterwards or even wash it!) I would rather vote Republican because I live…

My wife’s friend banged George Clinton. Took a clump a hair for a souvenir.

Imma come back in an hour after more people have gotten a chance to comment

There’s literally no way that’s true but God bless you anyway

who is benedict cumberbatch

What a very Denny’s story.

“If i was there, I could’ve stopped the Boston bombing” - Mark Wahlberg, probably

Seriously. I am embarrassed - and I live in Florida.

Restaurants and cocaine go together like PB&J. What a bunch of lunatics.

Memes and emojis both made it into the top 8? This is foul. If makeup beats sex I am leaving this site and becoming an MRA.