You guys, I watched all of UnReal this weekend because of being snowed in, and now I have a whole new understanding of The Bachelor. The shit these women go through is terrible. That being said, Olivia is still a fucking psychopath.

They actually had an open marriage, which has been widely documented. And who the fuck wasn’t doing drugs in the ‘60s?

Dang, I also got John Kasich on a dog sled. Sounds pretty rad, minus the John Kasich.

The man, it turns out, is Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte.

[Graciously bows.]

Can you speak for both incidents? I lost my dog a few years ago, and I will tell you that, for me, it was just as painful as losing some family members. I spent hours every day with my dog, she slept in the same bed as my partner and I, and losing her affected us on more of a daily level than other family members. I…

It’s a Greek thing, not a Southerner thing. I can verify this as both a Greek and a Southerner.

Y’all, she took the dollar sign out of her name though. She’s all grown up.

No you are not, my friend.

You should consider this a gift.

Jesus, this is fucking terrible.

Whoa A+ gif

Am I the only one (I can’t be the only on) who has begged for Rick to die a violent/hilarious death for years now? I fucking hate that guy.

I would think that telling a dude his dick is shaped like a football would be a compliment.

I bet it would look something like this

It has to be Crash, I agree. All because of Terrence Howard.

Texas’s state bird is a goose that just got shot by an armed, uninsured child.

What’s cheesy is engagement photos without a dog. Who wants to look at a million photos of the same two people sitting on a bench, at a picnic, etc? Lame.

WHOA! Ok, so in one place in the hot dog report, it says human DNA was found in 2/3 of the vegetarian samples. After barfing, I read further. Later, it says 2/3 of the 2% of samples that had human DNA were vegetarian samples. Don’t they know those two statements are very different and the confusion can cause a…