“Sean Penn and Amy Schumer went to a Madonna concert together. But not romantically. Or, at least I don’t think it was romantic. God, I hope it wasn’t romantic.”

This is why you never make people travel to a second location for the reception.

Sure, but there’s no possible way to be friends with an ex without at least one of you harboring feelings for the other at some point.

I’m convinced the only reason to remain friends with an ex is because you are still secretly in love with her/him. There’s literally no other reason.

Can someone write this book plz?

Remember that time she ran a beer mile? So great.

A+ name, oh my god.

You and me both, my friend. Life is hard in the greys.

You just can’t make this shit up. As my cool aunt Julia Louis-Dreyfus said, “It’s getting harder and harder to satirize this shit.”

Am I the only one who finds Andy Sandberg, and therfore Brooklyn 99, intolerable?

This is a tradition that should not exist.

I came here only to say:

Oh, well then by all means carry on.

I like how you capitalized Baseball. Do you see it as a proper noun and/or a holy being?

Unless I missed it, and maybe I did, the article didn’t say this happened on the wedding day. We had some last minute cancelations at my wedding (which I only found out about because I asked them if they were REALLY coming), and we invited other friends in their place. She should have told the bride, period.

You should always vote. And you should care about way more than, presumably, your own damn student loans.

Sanders/Warren? Can you imagine such a place? Let’s all rejoice! By the way, I know I’m assuming that she would be the running mate for Sanders and not Clinton...but I imagine that an all-female ticket probably wouldn’t fare too well (sad). Also, EW is way too progressive for Hillz.

Xanax+booze works for me for the most part. But if I ahd to pick one, it’d be booze. I agree, it works better than anything else.

He does exist, and he is these 2 douches.