The spitter was later identified as Keith Hernandez.

Things got even more awkward when police tried to read her rights and she vehemently insisted she "could probably" do it herself as long as she was "allowed to sound out the big ones."

That's the first good kick by Bama in a while

The Chiefs parking lot also has shooting, but it's less fun than this.

Bills Fans Posterize Scores

Are you actually surprised your coaches didn't want you helping the Bears and the Packers?

It's a good theory, but I don't think it makes complete sense. Priefer wouldn't cut you because he'd be afraid that he'd catch AIDS.

The Bengals could sell out if they talked Philip Rivers into buying one ticket for each of his children.

I took a picture with this guy at the last Dallas game back in October. That's pretty much how he acts at all times from what I recall. GO EAGLES!

In Philadelphia, we have a different name for somebody like this.

Waiter: Perhaps a dessert?
Manning: Sure any recommendations?
Waiter: A Turnover?
Manning: :/

You shouldn't laugh. It's actually a horrible story. The pedestrian was helping an elderly motorist with a flat tire. He had just gotten the jack off when the van clipped him.

I'll make you a deal:

You produce the pic.
Then, icing your praises.

"Around" isn't the only thing he's not fucking.

[meh, nah]

Hey, don't be too hard on yourself. Your comments have brought joy to literally hundreds of unemployable and deranged losers.

pkellen2313: [thinks to self, "who wastes all this time doing something that very few people will see and even fewer will appreciate"]

"...So I said to her, 'If you can't do it harder, then put on the tater mitts.'"

Man, I could read Drew hate things all day. Just an appreciation.

Papa Magary, 1990: "Drew! Did my magazine collection give you a bloody cock?"