I’d like to see Bret Stephens be a woman on Twitter for two hours. 

Random stories here with no real connection other than what I was made to feel in the moment...

...there's so much teeth in that picture.

For purposes of full disclosure, my brother (aka your uncle) was with me on that drive and there were a lot of songs I’d have listened to before listening to him for three days straight.

this is kid’s stuff, tho.

“i kissed a girl, she disliked it” probably wouldn’t have been as big a hit

Is anyone?

I’ve been staying keto.

Yesterday at the dog park a woman pointed out that whenever my hound bays her butthole flares. She kept insisting I look. I told her I'd take her word for it. But then everyone kept talking about it so I told them to stop staring at my dog's butthole. Someone suggested I get her an eye patch, another person said it…

I took my dog on a walk today. Saw what I thought was a pretty big, fuzzy moth nestled into some tree bark. Took my husband and our friend over to see it. They did not think it was very big.

I got a cold. My period ended and I thought I took my cup out. The next night I felt like I had a cup in. I thought that wasn’t possible but I checked anyway. I still had my cup in. 

I work in a bank, in a drive-thru lane.

I drove solo through Mississippi, Arkansas and Oklahoma. In August. FM Radio.

As I was getting into my car this morning to drive to work, I realized I’d left my purse inside. So, I had to go back in the house to get it. 

...and I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time...

Scott Disick doesn’t really have a personality, so at least it’s truth-in-advertising. He’s not going to be able to carry a show because...

Is this person considered attractive? Apparently he got famous (for lack of a better word) by leeching onto rich women. I’m a straight guy, but I can look at a guy like Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling and understand why women swoon. This looks the guy who’s always wearing Oakleys and a backwards baseball cap at the end of…

Trump says the house was robbed, Cummings says they were scared away almost immediately. Many people are saying Trump has inside information about this intrusion and that he personally hired the person. I’m not saying that I’m just saying what many, many people are saying.