Let’s just sentence him to 5-7 years coaching football in Lawrence, KS to make sure this doesn’t happen.

This is the appropriate unified response. “You’re not concerned about fallout, Ms. Gordon? Ok. See how unconcerned you are when nobody covers your barely-mediocre team.”

Fat man touchdown in Nagasaki was more impactful.

It’s disgraceful for Obama to be making campaign appearances Hillary. An elected official should know his role - getting Trump McDonalds.

I guess Miles accidentally ran out the clock.

On the one hand, yay for Apple teaching old people and the lazy about Bluetooth. It’s like 2006 all over again.

I mean, I feel sorry for all the diehard fans who feel let down by Tim Cook’s leadership. But, in all honesty, this doesn’t affect me and the crowd who walks around with unplugged headphones talking loudly to ourselves

I perceived that scene to be her true Murtaugh moment, that she was in fact to old for this shit.

Something like this has been building up for awhile. Perp doesn’t care that the cops will figure it out fairly quickly. Guy won’t likely be taken alive.

And then the rest of us will mention that he is a rapist.

This is unfair. I was led to believe that in the alternate universe I have clearly been transported to, all the evil politicians and their henchmen would have goatees.

[the light in your room begins to dim and the echoes of maniacal laughter can be heard in the distance]

Tim Tebow would bottom for Jesus. That’s the most Republican you can ever really get

“But when there was only one set of footprints across the turf, Lord? Where were you?”

Gotta love comment timing.

“With the 29th pick in the 2016 NBA draft, Gregg Popovich personally selects Taurean Prince, Baylor.”

But but but...

First he praised Missouri’s football teams, but I did not speak, for I had no idea they still had football teams in Missouri.

Except that Oprah could have realized what Erin was going through and made her producers make a back-up plan where if Erin still seemed too resistant, Oprah could have insisted that she not go on to do the interview and instead run reel tape of what Erin had gone through, had a psychologist on to discuss what happened…