Who?

who?

Who?

Bet you the previous passenger was Rita Ora.

The one in the middle’s fighting her ex’s parents for custody of her kids and know they’ll use this in court that’s why she’s not smiling quite as enthusiastically.

No words have ever been more real than when you typed “Jayden’s Mom”. *Fistbump to you from my former home on the Indiana side of the state line, where dreams go to die*

“It Was Never Not the 90's. (subtitle) A Tale of Ohio”

On the upside when one of those bitches tried to physically pull me out of a (Mcdonalds!) drive through window my small stature and the relative height of the window meant she couldn’t tip me over enough to get me out the window. It did not help her that I was…

If it makes you feel better, I would 100% read your memoir/novel.

Oh fuck me. This is the very particular brand of lower middle class white trash Ohio seems to grow like it’s the only thing our soil supports. From the hard slick back ponytails to the Midwestern mommy facebook outrager version of the “I want to talk to the manager, never mind lets beat some ass” haircut, Sams club…

Jewish geography was my worst subject. But Yiddish gynecology? Oy la la!

When I was a low-paid movie theater employee, we were probably the last theater in the US that actually answered the phone instead of having a recording. We had a regular caller, the foot pervert, who would call, want to know movie times and what shoes we were wearing. He never got sexual or disgusting.

TL;DR: I am now a sentient Fleshlight.

1. They demand you give money, possessions, etc without asking questions.

He says on FB, “I have the right to service who I want to.”

Seth Meyer was talking about the time he hosted the dinner and how acoustics were a bit odd in the ballroom. He stated that people were laughing actually a lot more than what CNN picked up. Or maybe he was just covering his ass.

Shut up and show us your tits.

And watery tarts lobbing swords.

A wizard is never large, nor is he small. He takes up exactly as many gigabytes as he means to.

I was with a dude who liked to finish on my glasses.

edit for clarification: obviously while I was wearing them, not just like...swing over and jizz all over them on my nightstand.