My current Twitter draft folder:

You know how I know your bullshit relationship is already DOA?

See, this was easy for me because as a single pud, I would always pay bills the day I got them (to this day, I don’t get it, but apparently, this isn’t always the best thing to do?) and never got any credit cards. If I didn’t have cash to pay for a thing, I didn’t buy that thing.

Is combining stuff into a new place really a huge hurdle for so many people? Or do people just not plan for space first?

y’all talk big game on the net bitches

If Domino’s (of all pizzas [of all foods]) has ever given you diarrhea, may I recommended the above product and a trip to the gastroenterologist?

Could very well be. I mean, I would have been shocked if the 39 year old with the 17 year career, busted neck, busted back, torn up shoulders, numb hands, torn up feet, bloody urine, pitched spleen, eye leprosy, hardened pancreas, lacerated lung, etc. WASN’T on some sort of drugs at this point.

Cuts right through your manforest, front and back, and you’ll never have to worry about cuts.

The difference is that Brady’s scandal involved no illegality and no drugs. He was merely accused of breaking an NFL rule. It was a nice, sanitary scandal that had an accused cheater and the the “good guys” trying to get to the bottom of it.

That is absolutely what he does, yes.

Nantz works (or at least worked) for the NFL Network last year. If that’s no longer the case, then I stand corrected, but the overall point is still valid.

I can verify what HGH is used for.

I can’t tell if this is a sarcastic fun reply or not, but I’ll take the opportunity to flesh out why the HGH being hers still makes no sense.

If you want to wage war against the commodification of the media, I think you’re a bit late to be successful, but more power to you.

I am not even close to a doctor, so I couldn’t answer this in a million years. I can say that I find Peyton obtaining it for illicit use far more believable than his wife obtaining it and self-administering during an IVF pregnancy, though.

Oh my god, stop trying to make me care about this. We know what happened.

Nantz is, for all intents and purposes, an NFL employee. The only person who considers him a journalist is Jim Nantz.

Yeah, but he was difficult to work with. I mean, their hands were tied.

Surely a return to glory for the 49ers is right around the corner once Chip assembles his QB powerhouse triad of Chad Henne, Blaine Gabbert and Sam Bradford (Kaep will be traded away along with an assortment of picks).

Philly and San Fran should just straight up swap coaches. Tomsula is DEFINITELY a Philly guy.