Probably gerbils.

Bah, next thing you're going to tell me is that Richard Gere is responsible for the Mothman.

GO TO BED

...ffs

Why would you use food as currency?

Sadly, We Will Rock You will turn out to be Gargleblaxian for "I slept with your broodmother and your patriarch is a giant plug of earwax."

Will we see Angua again? Please?

Oh, my Pradas.

DID YOU SAY FORTY CAKES??

I STEPPED ON YOUR CAKE

maths is hard

... dude.

Haha, dogs don't have hands!

SO cathartic.

I'll do my usual thing and ignore the pablum and tripe. It's that morsel of bacony goodness in the middle of the mush that makes waiting worthwhile.

Silly, if I punch a dog I'm going to be beaten in the streets.

I don't get it, when I punch someone they usually call the cops.

Don't stop toking that turken! I mean choking that churkey! I mean aw fuggit.

DESPAIR

I used to work the graveyard shift in the Postal Service back in high school. It was fun when someone was overnighting a pallet of crickets that burst open. Oh, and another time when a soaked box flopped apart, spilling presumably used marital aids all over the floor, with one particularly knobbly specimen rolling to…