Bog mummies are awesome but have you heard about Tarim Basin mummies.  Fall down that rabbit hole. You’re welcome 

Yup!

Almost. It is a shar-pei snuggling a pibble. The shar-pei is obsessed and the staffie is apathetic as long as she gets to nap.

She’s kinda like my girls

Awkward because I had already tried the same thing with Tom Selleck. Offering up Mom was beginning to be “ my thing” and needed to be addressed.

10 year old me realized it would be creepy for Harrison Ford to marry me BUT ( kicking my 10 year old logic into over drive) he could marry my mother. So I sent a letter to him with my suggestion. He never replied and I did get a very awkward lecture from my parents on why I can’t pimp my mother out.

I’m old enough to remember when J. Crew was just standard rugby shirts and chinos. Abercrombie and Fitch sold tartans and binoculars and Izod was for dorks. God speed, Lands End.

No and that is the issue. I try ( obviously not too hard) but it never sticks. Honestly I think I just want to hear any iteration of “ Don’t worry about it. Live your life” Which is my attitude but every now and again I get anxious.

I don’t get it. How am I broke all the time? I have made poverty level salaries and really good salaries but I always equally broke. Blerg.

Clearly Spencer Pratt is not my mother’s child.

I’ve started to mentally rehearse how to start CPR, call 911, unlock the front door and somehow corral the dogs if my partner has a heart attack. In my mind the dogs always get out and then hit by a car. Seriously, I run through this scenario multiple times a day.

Thanks! I had no idea.

Wait. What did Finland used to be before 1917?

Oh Lillian, I owe my monogrammed childhood to you.

I can only hope these exist because when you are serving coke and orgies ain’t nobody paying attention to the pate tree.

Nasty with dog slobber

It’s harder to keep clothes on her.

We have the same thing. I came into the relationship with her and he has a Shar-pei. We are one big mixed family.

Can I call him Mr. Pibbbles?! He’s worth every cent!

She’s pretty goddamn adorable. In the spirit of full disclosure we also have a Shar-pei who is pretty cute too.