She has, like, a 2-head, right? I'm not seeing this wrong? Because her forehead seems incredibly tiny. Is that genetic?

I slept with two of my guild leaders from World of Warcraft. No regrets on one, cool dude, we're still friends.

I'd just like to know what it is about me that makes me completely unable to find any stoner friends. For fuck's sake, my hobbies include glassblowing. You'd think... but no!

Well, my satsuma's fruit ripens right in time for Christmas, and my Washington Navel orange tree ripens the first week of December. So that's probably why.

I feel your pain. My useless leech is my former* best friend of 17 years. She's been living in my spare bedroom since September 2013 and has been unemployed 99.9% of that time.

I'm sure they're ecstatically happy NOW, living under a bridge and eating out of a dumpster sounds like paradise compared with this guy.

I've always thought the romance novel genre needed some coverage of the opposition. And a good bitter breakup novel is such a guilty pleasure.

I like soap... was it really shitty soap? The worst gift Ever was hot sauce (shitty hot sauce). Slimfast... Mom's not so good at the math/science/logic thing.

Those insecure dipshits don't want to date us anyway, usually. But men aren't the only ones, my mother is 5'4" and convinced no woman ever needs to weigh over 145 pounds for any reason including pregnancy. I would be emaciated at her usual weight.

Ah, my exes:

A couple years ago my brother-in-law requested something last minute (Xmas eve) after much dithering. It wasn't crazy expensive, but it wasn't cheap either, and it required being picked up in person in another town over an hour away. With holiday traffic and the snow it was kind of a slog. But hey, Christmas spirit,…

That makes sense! Where are you in Germany right now?

GOD yes. Any time you shrink the pool and up the average risk... bye bye, money! That said, I am morally opposed to for-profit life, health, or automobile insurance. Capitalism and the social safety net don't mix well.

YES. YES SHE DOES. Speaking of wardrobe accessories for nonexistent weather conditions, is the ludicrously comprehensive umbrella collection just her, or...? She's got at least five. I think I have one, somewhere.

But don't let me fool you, she's awesome, and I enable the hell out of her. I love spinning yarn (so relaxing) but I hate knitting and I'm terrible at crochet... and guess who knits at a truly prodigious rate?

We live in bloody CALIFORNIA. This has done nothing to discourage her brutal wool addiction. I do not understand. I seriously haven't worn a sweater in eight years except when traveling. I wore sandals to work today.

A dear friend is from Stuttgart- born, raised, undergrad. And she is wonderful in many ways, but "unnatural relationship with knitwear" is so true of her.

It was actually so bad it was mesmerizing. I don't know why we didn't just have Prom in the gym like normal people. My graduating class was 1200ish (PESH 02), but VERY few people stayed past getting pictures taken to fool their parents.

We had our graduation afterparty at freakin' South Fork. For Prom the parents went Full Racist and picked the Adam's Mark.

Type AB- I'm sure this 'diet' would work, because extremely allergic to dairy. And soybeans. But skeletons are super thin, so after a die a terrifying death and rot, it'll totally work.