Shout out to whoever had to get up at 6am because school started at 7am. I feel for you.

They haven’t paid for any abortions since 1977, dumbass.

Situations like this are why I don’t understand the stupid insistence of all the gun lovers that MORE guns, guns EVERYWHERE, guns ALL THE TIME. If, theoretically, we are all openly carrying guns (some of them assault rifles) everywhere, all the time, how will “good guys” with guns know who are “bad guys” with guns?…

I recently got into an argument with a FaceSpacer... he kept touting the golden spoon welfare recipient and how welfare is overrun by liars, greedy people and... poors. I really just wanted him to admit that he hated poor people.

Lying....

Aw, sorry to hear that.

Can't imagine what *that* might be.

Okay, so Oklahoma now has the trashiest governor’s mansion in the nation. But on the bright side, we can now lay claim to having the classiest trailer park.

Highly recommend cold brew. Less acidic (lessening the chance of pissing off acid reflux), smoother taste, easy to make. The hard part is waiting at least 12 hours before drinking it.

Except she’s right. The remaining cats will continue breeding, and in not too long there will be just as many feral cats and they’ll have to fucking murder them again. (oops emotional language.)
Trap-neuter-release programs are far more effective. It will take longer, but in the long term the feral cat colonies will…

As a very wise therapist once told me “It’s a problem for you. Make it problem for him.” As long as you keep doing it, he’s going to let you. Stop doing it. Give him fair warning that he needs to pack one kid’s suitcase while you do the other, then let everyone miss the plane when he blows you off. You have to remain…

It’s not a big deal, Starbucks has had this stuff in the ventilation systems of their stores for years. And it still tastes better than their coffee.

Turning a stimulant into an aerosol? No way this could go wrong!

I propose we start an alternate source of family planning targeted toward the religious called “Planned Sainthood.”

We can argue that since an aborted fetus totes has a soul, but hasn’t made any decisions, it will directly go to heaven. But any kid that’s birthed into this world runs the risk of being led astray by…

I have solved the eternal toilet seat debate: the person who cleans the toilet sets the default seat position. An elegant and just solution.

Since apparently this has become a forum for bitching about spouses:

No mention of the fact that both males and females are happier when they’re about to land on a dick?

Tom Cruise can finally join the illustrious company of Over-interested Uncles, founder Adolf Hitler.

beyond all the obvious issues: dude you are 72 and you aren’t exactly contributing groundbreaking research. Time to retire. When I was in grad school, everyone said that there would be a massive wave of baby boomer retirement opening up positions for Gen X and Millenials. It hasn't happened. I know profs in their late…

Have you ever tried pouring water into your cheerios?