My youngest has asked me to stop reading to him (he’s 12).

My kids are 3 and 1 right now but I kept all of my Redwall books in a box in the basement and plan on casually leaving them around the house when they are reading books on their own.

I started taking hits off my cousins’ cigarettes when I was 9, because that’s when Ponyboy Curtis started smoking.

I put so many children’s books on my baby registry and they were the only things not purchased and when they were the last items, people said “there’s nothing fun on your registry!” There are so many baby books out there to hit every need: hipster sarcastic books, classics, classics with modern illustration, art…

My son and daughter were certified lifeguards throughout high school and college. They made extra money working private parties every summer. Check any local private or public pool for lifeguards.

This is super important, people!!! We never think it’ll happen, but it does. A dad I know was in a pool birthday party, many 6yos inside the pool, that wasn’t even that deep. In the 5 minutes he was watching her and then started a conversation it happened. The kids went out of the pool and his daughter was floating…

I know they are worth money, but the idea of used airpods—any product that goes in your ear, really—is conceptually pretty revolting to me.

You cannot just have one person assigned to looking out for the kids. If you have multiple kids at a pool party, you need multiple adults (or responsible teens) on supervision duty. Or, just reconsider a pool party all together. Sorry to be that guy , but I’m speaking from experience … I innocently thought that my…

Please, please always keep an eye on your child while he/she is swimming. I worked as a summer lifeguard for a number of years - what we told parents was “We are watching everybody, you are the only person watching your child.” Lifeguards are not superhuman - they are there to care of emergencies as they arise, but…

“I don’t have a girlfriend, but I do know a woman who would be mad at me for saying that.”

“Regardless of how the optics may subjectively read to the viewer (because it’s all subjective), like Nicki Minaj, Kimble is a grown woman and self-made millionaire who was proud to take part in that image, doing her life’s work.”

Also, how was he planning to get that out of the bed? Hand truck?

Also, how was he planning to get that out of the bed? Hand truck?

A Ranger of that era had a payload capacity of around 1,250 lbs or so. I’m told a boulder weighs about 150 pounds per cubic foot for a sandstone boulder...

Here’s a fun trampoline story for you . . .

I will go see this, I will cry like a tiny little baby girl, and none of you awful motherfuckers will be able to stop me. NONE OF YOU AWFUL MOTHERFUCKERS WILL BE ABLE TO STOP ME.

My life is colder now; colder and darker.

Before you see crossover sedans vs. after you see crossover sedans

Almost definitely a Chinese company. Geely or GAC would be good bets.

See you on Mars mothafokas,