I like how the US president’s name has become synonymous with, and weaponized for, racial harassment. Like, it’s plainly accepted by both sides. What a legacy.

Never stop giving Giuliani air time. 

Putting my marketing hat on a moment... I feel like the Golden Globes themselves (or rather, the entity in charge of them) are foremost to blame for approving a promotion like this. The likelihood’s very low they would’ve let any unpaid promoter just slide up behind everyone in such a blatant free press grab, so I’m…

Totally. That plywood safari is there to stay. Not to mention the designers frequently ask leading questions to probe the kids for their interests, so whatever word comes out of their mouth first becomes the theme of their bedroom for the next 10 years.

“Well, I guess I like to go bowling..?”

*Designer shown 10 minutes…

They’re so white I was uncomfortably conscious of this fact while watching any episode he was on.

All I could think about during every house reveal was: how the hell are they meant to resell a house with such a bizarre assortment of made-to-order bedrooms? Unless you strike upon a 4-child family with respective interests in volcanos, billiards, black metal, and calligraphy.

With 6 to 8 seconds’ worth of ketchup squirted in there for good measure.

What this dunce of a president doesn’t seem to understand is that people in college don’t eat fast food because they prefer it, but because it’s CHEAP. It’s like saying New Yorkers relish living in 200 sq ft studios. If college students earned $125k a year they sure as shit wouldn’t be eating this garbage.

If you’re in need of a single 8-ounce white ceramic mug from Ikea, I decided this morning I’m ready to part with it.

Smoke-free household.

Looking forward to the videos of kielbasa-esque men in wraparound shades shooting Gillette razors off tree stumps.

This is just the stupidest photo ever. I want to smash all $80 worth of this carefully-plated garbage in that moronic fucking grimace of his.

A couple points of clarification...

1. The show is an equal-opportunity offender; both men and women are contestants, and in turn judged by the opposite sex. (Or by the same sex, depending on the dating scenario.)

2. The contestants requested to be on this show, so they’re volunteering themselves for this evaluation for…

I used to abide by the paying in cash recommendation for the same reason, until I realized it created more headache because the “card people” have to recalculate their tips to account for the fact the cards aren’t divided evenly across the full headcount anymore. For example...

A table of five owes $100 and agrees to…

I’m not even kidding when I say these are a particularly good variety of frozen breakfast sandwich. English muffins nothin.

VR headsets have all the trappings of an interim technology whose photos will be laughed at in a decade or so, the same way we mock Zack Morris’ gigantic cellphone or grainy ads for $8000 IBM personal computers.

They’re talking about it like a contractor would talk about putting up drywall.

I’m internally considering my picks for his top 6 most offensive Instagram photos that would comprise the Worst Tinder Profile Ever.

In a twisted way I think many of them ARE acting out of a sense of “not screwing up the world for their grandchildren”, in the sense that they’re being driven by greed, and the wealth from their exploits can be passed on to their families.

Is that taped... upright?

Awaiting the response from the right crucifying her for saying “shit” in public. I’ll probably need a helmet to keep my head from exploding at the hypocrisy.