Eager Beaver... Carter's Caboose... I would like to announce my new Appleton, Wisconsin venture: The Pussy Cock.

Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: she that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have entrance into the club without waiting in line... because, really, if you have to wait in line...

It's like the bond of fellow POWs; it's too painful to reminisce, but it's reassuring to share.

Someone who wants to be a plaintiff.

She obviously was looking to file this lawsuit when she applied for the job. This is someone (more likely an organization funding her) looking for a lawsuit to push their agenda.

This is awesome, I'm going to apply to work at Starbuck's and then tell them my religion forbids me from serving people caffeinated products. And then I'm going to apply at McDonald's and tell them that I will not be serving anyone any beef products because I'm a Hindu and see how far that goes. And then I'm going…

I just don't get why he even opened the door. I mean look, if I heard someone knocking on my door unexpectedly at 2:30 in the morning, I'd be scared. And since I have no windows around my door, or peephole, I'd have no way of knowing who it was. Which is why, under no circumstances, would I open the door. Grab a…

I mean, aren't there only like 13 members of the Westboro Baptist Church in the first place? (OK, there are about 40, I think, but still.)

The only other think I can think of is that maybe the bacteria exists on the tea itself?

Among the Jezebel staff we have a conspiracy theory that the Kardashians were created in a lab by a group of A-list celebrities to soak up all the tabloid attention.

So I'm a female scientist with an insulin pump, I'm very comfortable with my body as attached to that insulin pump, and I'm not big into beauty pageants. I don't like the ways our culture tells girls that the only thing they can do that's valuable is be pretty. However, it's still important and valuable to support…

Your last two sentences kind of go off the rails. This post is clearly about normalizing and destigmatizing use of these kinds of medical devices. Which, cool.

I don't think feminism means nobody's allowed to want to look pretty.

I could say so much about what a complete asshat Chuck Lorre is and what a complete pile of shit his shows are but instead I will let this dog convey my feelings.

You misspelled SOCK PUPPET by the way. You're welcome. Maybe you can add the term SOCK PUPPET to your spell check in case you ever have a typo.

I think the problem comes from the representatives asking her questions and then refusing to let her answer them.

Hip-Hop triple X chicken scratchers with Fresno-style broccoli rolls

Can we just go with "never?" It is NEVER ok to leave children or animals locked in a hot car. COME ON, people. This is Texas. Heat indexes are expected to reach 105 today, you could bake cookies on the windshield of your car. And it's just gonna stay this way until October. We ALL know this. We go through this EVERY…

Two things, 1) Weird Al is a musical fucking genius and I refuse to acknowledge anyone who disagrees and 2) you made me have to look up a word and I am angry that I learned something today. At least it wasn't math.