When I was a kid my dad and I went on a trip to San Francisco and our motel room was next to an Arby's and it was the most amazing place ever. Maybe I've just had the misfortune to eat at the world's worst Arby's since then. (I'm trying to throw Mr. Pinkham a bone here.)

This is the wankdolphin of sandwiches.

*facepalm*

I was hating hipsters before you had ever heard of them.

Arby's? C'mon, Pinkham, the seven-year-old won't eat there.

I think I have an inkling.

Further proof horsie types drink a lot.

That's the exact opposite of what happened in the experiment.

Especially the lefties.

I want to see them in a celebrity poker tournament with Ben Affleck.

"I'm no racist, but..."

You just waved a red cape in the face of the gods of compromise.

I sorta hate myself for wanting to see that movie now.

I don't think Kate Upton has what he's looking for.

I'm trying to remember which color ribbon I should be wearing to show my support.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: people who have sex in toilets are not my social equals.

She was awesome, and so cute.

You have no idea how much I hate you right now. ;)

It's 1999 in my head.

It was seriously Taser deficient.