I really not trying to be.

Fun fact, punishment is not the job of random ninjas.

Just so we're clear, this in no way implies I agree with you.

This is why there will be no internet connected light bulbs in my house.

As you know, I love your column, I just think this one story is not that great.

I posted earlier today that I have no problem if you delete this mess. However, it has provided me with a tremendous amount of amusement.

Are you actually under the impression that I'm the person from the story? Because that would be fantastic.

Goddammit, how did I give myself away?

Aren't you just a little pumpkin pie? I just want to eat you up.

That makes less than no sense.

One of the best parts of being a parent is watching those with my kids.

Always.

Mom?

Nope, but those two do have similar names.

I think Ice T is still mourning his loss at the MTV Music Awards.

That's classy.

That's what the lawsuit he would have filed would have said.

That'll calm the stupid bitches down.

We should see if we can't get the "freedom of speech" folks in on this, too.

Classic and popular do not mean the same thing.