I like pineapple.

A restaurant near me J&R’s Steakouse, has an eating challenge where you get an hour to eat a 72oz steak plus sides and it’s free, otherwise it’s $49.99. A bunch of friends went there for my brother’s bday and all 4 of the guys decided it was time to go for it. One ordered it rare, he was done in 24oz, ching ching $50…

My senior year of HS, for Christmas one of my stocking stuffers was two massive bags of salted peanuts. Not in the shell...just peanuts.

All I know is that one time when I was 14, I was being a total bitch to my mother as we were walking down Oxford St in London. Instead of getting cross and telling me I was being an asshole, my mother (a creature of mirth and magic and farts) proceeded to drop her shopping bags and began to perform a jig. It was a…

No joke, summer is the worst season. I loathe being hot. All I ever want is to need to wear a heavy coat. Also, I think some people really are just genuinely drawn to melancholy. The darkening days are romantic to some of us.

Quoting Terry Pratchett is the fasted way to get followed for Kitchenette, just FYI to anyone reading.

It’s hard to say since I wasn’t there, and I obviously can’t “diagnose” anything, but I am getting some SERIOUS junkie/addict vibes from caramel lady. I had a similar situation in my coffee shop (although not exactly that thank GOD) with a lady who was clearly addicted to what was probably meth. We had music shows at…

Trail mix is just m&m’s with obstacles.

Why does everyone complain that deli sandwiches are not made the way they are in NYC, then stare expectantly as if I can do something about that? NYC is hundred of miles away from where I am serving you. Do you think I have Carmen Sandiego stuffed up my ass, and can instantly whip her out and transport us to the Land…

Went to Gettysburg when I was a kid with my mother, my brother, and my grandmother. My grandmother, who can’t drive for shit, drove the whole way and refused to let my mother take the wheel. So we were treated to her constantly stopping on the goddamn interstate to check and see if she had missed her exit, while cars…

When I was a junior in high school my family went to San Antonio, TX. We went to watch my brother graduate from Air Force basic training at Lacklund. So the first part was fun. We went to the River Walk, saw some movies, hit Six Flags Fiesta Texas. All pretty typical. Day of the graduation ceremony my brothers…

Gives me a chuckle every time! Every. Single. Time.

I always wanted to be a Blanche..but I am a Dorothy, through and through.

Well that’s goddamn adorable.

Holy shit. I’ve seen some creative spellings on CakeWrecks before, but goddamn. That’s not “I’m unsure about this word,” that’s “I dropped acid and went swimming in AlphaBits.”

Ahem. How do I put this delicately? I have a feeling their kids take after both sides of the family, if you know what I mean. Seems like Mrs. Jensen didn’t have to change her maiden name, if you see what I’m saying. I bet their favorite Bible story is Amnon and Tamar, if you get me. Doesn’t look like the tree falls…

I don’t know why, it just makes me giggle every time.

So... not a disaster, but I can’t help but share this because I loved my tiered apple pie for my wedding oh so much. It was the best.

My cat wakes me up with the sounds of her profound existential anxiety.

My current boyfriend nearly drowned in Costa Rica while honeymooning with his ex-wife. He managed to get caught in a rip tide and was barely able to swim back to shore, where he collapsed from exhaustion. I don't think the ex-wife was around when this happened; apparently the whole beach was deserted, except for a…