That’s a clown answer, bro.

First thing I thought too. The only thing missing on the first 2 emails from Samer is "Sent from my Verizon Razr 4G LTE".

The handjob was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

Just a heads up that “Orchids of Asia” is an anagram for “Hairdo Fiascos,” so once again poor Mark Davis gets dragged into this.

Who knew that BeastMoe was actually Steven Mnuchin?

At approximately 1102 hrs, Wang began touching and rubbing Male 13

And he took his socks off! That’s a deep level of trust from an elderly man.

It’s the perfect crime. 

Pretty sure that part-time teacher did not know what she was getting into when she got on that bus

Bill Simmons definitely used a bunch of burner accounts to comment on the Jezebel article about whether squirting is pee.

Incomplete analysis, I’m not even sure what season-four sublpot from WKRP in Cincinnati this is all supposed to remind me of.

Welcome to the sports website where people discuss sports.  Enjoy your stay.

this game is going to replace Kursk as the greatest tank battle in history

First of all, a divorce hearing is different from a parole hearing. Read a book, idiot.

That is so unfair.

I don’t have friends, and I’ve had a total of 5 days off this year.

*Tank gets check engine light*

Looks more like Frogger than Pac-Man :D

Magic running an offense: Showtime!

Nothing but respect for MY President.