“European 2 Series hatchback”

Luckily those sweet rides are made in Poland, leaving them unaffected. 

Also parents, also old people, and paradoxically enough also very tall and very short people.

Holy shit. It’s the worst take. Congrats! You did it. I should dismiss this, but it’s so beautifully insane.

So was the PT Cruiser!

I think crossovers still fit into the light truck loophole, but yeah. 

No thanks. 

Eh, I think the X2 pulls off this size and package much better. 

I have news about the former 320i and 328i. 

Remember the 2 Series Active Tourer? I do. 

Yeah. The X2 is a far better option. Or a MINI with a stick. 

Go buy the regular coupe then, it’s still there.

Welcome to 4 years ago, I guess? 

Nope, it’s about upright seating position and step in/step out, ingress/egress, and decent visibility. Cars suck at all those things.

You can buy more car than you need for day to day use, and it still might not handle every possible option.

Lol to all of this. 

If that’s what it would proverbially take for you to afford one, you likely aren’t a big concern of Chevrolet’s to begin with.

“I don’t have to be nice about it.”

Oh, for sure. 

Oh yeah, this’ll start working any day now. Keep at it, doubling down on the condescension has done nothing but win so far.