Jen, you're under arrest for attempted murder. You just gave me a seizure with your comment.

My wife doesn't check her email when I'm around anymore because a couple years she opened her Gmail and there were OVER 5000 UNREAD MESSAGES. I almost had a stroke right there at her desk.

It's been a while since I've dated, but I never really saw this as being a gender specific problem. I'm guilty of making it easier on myself by lying to get out of the situation, just like most people are.

I think I would probably accept $18/hr for sitting in a wheelchair all day, but I wouldn't be happy about it.

I was kinda always hoping for a Jessica Jones movie, following the Alias storyline. I was pretty into that series.

Fair enough. I don't think you have anything to apologize for. It is what it is, you can't help that.

I can't wait to tell my mistress! She's always playing on her phone!

No, you aren't terrible, as long as your honest about it and willing to talk about some kind of alternative, like rubbing her clit. I think it's pretty normal to not enjoy seeing your dick covered in blood.

Since when does telling someone to STFU violate their right to freedom of speech?

Right? I know when I was growing up, my parents were both really weird about penises and vaginas, so I was really weird about it too. It takes a lot of deprogramming to change that, and it sets dudes up to get all their information from porn, which causes even more problems.

Seems to me that this is a really simple way to explain that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. Wouldn't any parent be thrilled to make this a simple conversation in a controlled environment?

I don't know, I don't really see a preseason football game getting dominant ratings, and the Emmys will do well, but maybe not as well on a Monday. Then again, I'm very obviously NOT a television executive.

Fortunately for me, I have no love for awards shows, and all the love for football. I'm happy with this, but it does seem like a pretty bad move for the network. I guess we'll see what happens.

The author of the post never assumed that this was animal abuse. The closest thing she said to that effect was:

Maybe the commenters on here are jumping to conclusions, but the authorities weren't.

It's scary how many people that DO have guns don't know how to use them safely, or just flat out refuse to use them safely.

Look at it from the perspective of the authorities (by the way, he was investigated by Charlotte Country Animal Control, who has plenty of time to check this out. He was only reported to the police, there is no indication that they gave a shit.).

Yeah, I saw him there last time I went! It was my wife's first time at Disneyworld and she could not figure out why I was freaking out about some junky looking robot in the scenery.

Ann Coulter is a great many things, but she's not desperate, and despite all the evidence to the contrary, she's not stupid either. All of talk show appearances, books, articles, etc. are all carefully designed to either piss us off or totally indulge us, depending on what views you hold. Either way, she gets…

Millions of Americans are only pretending to like soccer? This is the first I'm hearing of this! Have you considered revealing your amazing powers of assumption to the world at large?