The more you wear to sleep the more clothes there are to wash. No thank you.

My pajamas consist of a pair of underwear. I don’t know how anyone can sleep in actual pajamas.

He and I are currently making living arrangement plans. exciting

Which has anything to do with hypocrisy...how, exactly? Also, it's really funny to watch you criticizing people for "pretending to have low reading comprehension" when you can't even form a cogent sentence.

Interesting. As a half South African, long-time Trevor Noah fan, and someone who enjoys the Daily Show, let me just say this:

Uhm, yes! This is the best decision ever. Trevor Noah is awesome, funny, intelligent. Have y'all heard him on the daily show podcast? He was great! Although I would love to see that short list of potential replacements for stewart. It would be interesting to see who they are considering and why.

did he give you the pizzas?

Whenever I tell the 2 year old I take care of to do something, her excuse is always "nooooo, my tummy hurts in my eye".

No lie, I am regularly late to work for a variety of reasons, but one of them is absolutely that it makes my cat grumpy when I leave. When I wake up she always comes over to cuddle and purr, and if I abandon her to get ready for work she pouts and does the angry cat tail swish of doom.

Being late because your dog is so damn cute is a perfectly valid reason for being late to work. Hell, my parents got a puppy when I was in school and I skipped class all the time because staying in bed with puppy > boring morning class. I'm late for work quite often because of my dog. Combined with the fact that I…

Been there!

I'm female, work full time, am the main wage earner in the household, adore cooking more than anything (except growing what I eat) and would love a huge, fancy kitchen like that (except with darker wood cabinets, white shows too much mess).

Ever see a zombie climb a tree? Treehouses will totally be a thing.

Ironically, that's my strategy for

Good plan. Zombies can't get in without a card.

She probably also thinks that goddamned dress is White and Gold.

I always thought putting a baby in and around colors helps with their ocular development, because they're born blind like cats.

'Half Blood Prince'

IT WASN'T WHEN I WROTE THIS! LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now. HAVE YOU EVER LIVED NEAR OCEAN BEACH? IT'S LIKE A FROZEN HELLSCAPE CREATED BY A FIRST ACT ELSA!