I just thought you should know that this article is flawless.

His name was Javier and I met him when I worked at the bookstore in college. He was super hot, but that's because all he cared about in the world was his body. Good for him! Good for him. But between working out and moisturizing and hair care and trimming and and and, there was...not much left. But super hot and…

Was it the iron-worker who was a secret libertarian

human treasure talks to human garbage about non humans, is a treasure, makes garbage mad.

WGAT IS THE POINT OF ANYTHING WITHOUT TOM HARDY

Bloody nose and lip pulling up my own bra strap. My hand slipped and I punched myself.

No one twerks like Gaston.

Just change the street name to Ate Ass. Fixed.

I worked at a fairly large cadillac dealership in the service department. The service department consisted of a very long building with service stalls on both sides and the dispatch office (where I worked) was right in the middle. I was one of the very few females employed in this department. It was a fun job but…

Also not related to New Years, but related to your mention of being so confused as to where you were. Programming note: no booze involved in this story.

I haven't claimed they're on the same level, merely that this isn't as odd of a pairing as people make it out to be. I think it's likely that they mutually appreciate each other's douchey characteristics. He also has a history of being abusive, which is a separate and unfortunate thing.

My first time I started bussing tables in a restaurant. I didn't work there.

Basically. Except I'm Southern, so it was more like "let me fucking help with something!"

"Waste management" gave it away.

Legitimately one of my darkest fears is being absurdly underdressed for an event. I always try to go for the 'one step up from the average' standard that is advised by people who will give you advice on how to dress for the job you want, not the shitty job you have. Even when it's nothing to do with jobs.

When I was in high school I had knee surgery on December 26 and the combination of immobility and hydrocodone made me super constipated and my mom had to give me an enema. At age 18. Worst NYE of my life.