Aww.  Now I’m sad Phil Hartman is still gone. Thanks, jerk. 

Step one: Take Elon’s phone, delete twitter account, smash phone

annnnnd it already broke down, literally on the way home for the guy who bought it

Rocket Man makes rocket fuel, damn!

Gotta say, that bank is on point with the potential frauds. Hearing “Fan requires $724 worth of beer to get through Dolphins game” sounds uncannily plausible.

I shall invent a device that alerts Dolphins fans when they are being erroneously charged for purchases. It will emit a Dolphin-call shriek if a skimmer is used to rack up a fraudulent charge. I will call it “the Miami Sound Machine.”

OK, sure. But still, in her prime: Susanna Hoffs.

God love the director who decided they didn’t need to reshoot.

It won’t be your money that will pay your SS benefits. It will be the two generations below you. So you need to see population growth to cover the payments to you. Either start pumping out kids or loosen up immigration.

Monsters of the Jetway

These earlier episodes of BattleBots are much more dangerous than I remember them.

This is the biggest hit I’ve seen laid on a number 11 who couldn’t handle drinks since Phil Simms.

Imagine being so tone deaf that you complain about not receiving SOCIAL security because Democrats are too busy funding other social programs. Social security was created by democrats as a social welfare program. If you take out Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security, the amount we spend on things like welfare are…

Poor fucker probably missed a 43-yard field goal in practice.

The W210 E55 weights 3768 lbs. That’s lighter than a BMW M340i or C43 AMG. The Scat Pack Charger weighs 4400lbs. Sharing a platform doesn’t mean the cars drive the same.

......Whatever

I’m offended by the implication that there are meaningful Jets games.

True but can you imagine a more Jets way to ruin his career than by rushing him out to face the Dolphins in a meaningless game?

Word on the street is his spleen killed a man in Reno, just to see him die.