I want an F1 car that’s powerful like a gorilla, but soft and yielding like a Nerf football. And when they gun the engine I want it to sound like the WORLD is coming to an end.

Handball:Cold :: VAR:Cancer :: Goal line tech:tummy ache :: Billy’s soccer takes:explosive diarrhea.

And The Twelves still don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs. 

If there can’t be controversy on the field, gotta make it on the old internets out of something. That’s “The Haisley Promse.”

> entertainment is more important than getting calls correct down to the millimeter

But the God’s eye of VAR would have robbed us all of the emotion and joy of the moment at Hand!!!

> Nobody liked this call.

Blow shit up or GTFO!

On the plus side Mumford & Sons is relegated to playing minor league ballparks in Montana, so let’s consider this a win.

Really, it’s just Billy. He’s been their worst writer for a while now and has a reputation to keep up (well, down).

The handball rule can be good or bad, but either way it is changeable, marginal, and self-contained. VAR is permanent, pervasive, and omnipresent. To think about which one is worse, try to image a world without one or the other.

So we’re all agreed then: VAR is a good thing and that handball rule sucks,

hey, another anti-VAR Deadspin article! This one making a strained cancer-cold analogy.  It’s funny that as more and more people and pundits are coming around on VAR and realizing that the real problem is vague or poorly worded rules Deadspin keeps digging in. If only they had something new to say instead of rehashing…

Yes, I recall the halcyon days of yesteryear when there were no weekly controversies in soccer based on disputed handballs and offsides calls.

I know which world I’d rather live in.

It’s the same as last week, when VAR disallowed a gorgeous Man City goal because it decided that Raheem Sterling’s shoulder was offside by a couple centimeters.

DEadspin/Billy against getting calls right. Such a shocker

Are we sure this isn’t an elaborate ploy by the Ospreys owners to get a new publicly funded stadium?

How dare you like something.

They really fucked it up this time, didn’t they my dear?