I am a visibly washed-up wreck of a 38-year-old, just an absolute pile of nonthreatening shit wearing shapeless—but breathable!—linen shorts that would be embarrassing if I had any dignity to put at risk. My shirt does not literally have the words “Father Of Two” stamped on it, but that’s only because it would be…

If we weren’t all just balls of insecurity trying to get through the next social interaction, how would we know we’re alive?

Inadequate Man

“.... when it finally jumps from charming to annoying, ....”

Phil Cuzzi vs not just the fucking Yankees, but Yankees throwing bratty toddler tantrums? Is there a way they can all lose?

Seriously though, why is Jed Lowrie still injured?! 

You got it. They are only Big Tough Boys when there is a rookie umpire behind the plate.

I reject this idea that the mid-aughts Red Sox unlikability has somehow receded. 

At what point was this ever charming? 

“We’ve got 89 guys busting their tails.”

Brown cannot wait to catch passes from Landry Jones again.

AB had the grace period last season like everyone else. Brady’s on record about not liking the new helmet too:

“Find a partner you love as much as Antonio Brown loves that helmet.”

He got the same grace period.

It’s a lot easier to do die at 47 when you are using a helmet that doesn’t protect your brain.

He got a grace period, the article is wrong. Last year was his grace period, just like Rodgers and Brady.

Brown’s frustrated with the league, and for good reason: The NFL hadn’t banned or even tested his preferred model until he made an issue of it this summer, meaning that every other NFL player with a helmet older than a decade, including Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady, had one-year grace periodsto find new models they…

Inject this straight into my veins. I need this saga to be drawn out as long as possible, bringing the Raiders, AB, and everyone else past their breaking points. I need panicked public statements, I need social media meltdowns, and I need Jon Gruden turning shades of red that even Deadpsin couldn’t photoshop. I love…

Allright you 5% positives, ‘splain yourselves.

You’re kidding, right?